Parenting scenario
Sibling fighting
Siblings will fight. The question isn't how to stop it forever — it's how to stop being the permanent judge.
What's actually happening
Siblings are practicing every social skill they will ever need, on the people they feel safest with. Jealousy, comparison, and competition for attention are wired in, not a sign of bad character. Younger children fight for fairness; older ones fight for autonomy and space. Both are developmentally on track.
Why reacting makes it worse
Jumping in to assign blame teaches children to perform innocence rather than solve problems. The 'good one' learns to provoke quietly; the 'bad one' learns they're the problem in the family. Resentment lasts longer than the original disagreement, and they stop trying to work things out themselves because someone else always will.
The regulated approach
Stop, slow down, and refuse the judge role. Stand between them if needed, regulate your own body first, and reflect what you see: "Two kids, one tablet, big feelings." Hold limits on safety, not on emotions. Then coach repair instead of declaring a winner. Over time they build the muscle to handle each other.