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Choices vs. Ultimatums Guide

Offer choices that support cooperation.

What it is

A short guide that shows how the same parenting moment can land as a power struggle or as collaboration, depending on how the choice is framed.

When to use it

Before transitions, around tasks kids resist, or anytime you find yourself in a daily standoff over the same small thing.

How to use it

  1. Identify the outcome you actually need.
  2. Offer two options you can genuinely live with either way.
  3. Use short, neutral language — no bargaining tone.
  4. Wait quietly for them to decide.
  5. Honour whichever choice they make without commentary.

Make "Choices vs. Ultimatums Guide" part of your toolkit

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