Emotional intelligence
Co-Regulation Map
How parents regulate first, then support the child.
What it is
A diagram of what's actually happening between your nervous system and your child's during a hard moment, and the order of operations that helps. It makes the invisible work of co-regulation visible.
When to use it
Study it during a calm moment so the pattern is already in your body next time. Refer back to it after hard moments to understand what worked and what didn't.
How to use it
- Read the map from your end first — your body, your breath.
- Locate where your child is on the map right now.
- Match your pace to the step they need, not the step you want.
- Move one step at a time; don't skip ahead.
- After the storm, debrief with the map to learn.
Make "Co-Regulation Map" part of your toolkit
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